NSTTN Support Group

Let's start an online support group for moms with children who don't sleep through the night yet, no matter what age they are. Ok? Problem is I have no idea how to do this. I suppose we could do an email group or something, and just email each other. I don't know how to start an online forum. Anyone know how? Anyone want to help me make this happen? Pretty please...

Seriously though. We are in a decent phase right now which is great (you kinda forget how traumatic the sleep regressions were when you're not in one) but I think it would be awesome to have some kind of support in place when things go awry and I feel like I want to jump off a bridge. Ya know? Email me at vacationlandmom@gmail.com if you feel like joining up.

18 month sleep regression be damned!

My son will be 17 months in less than a week. It seems like he might already be in the 18-month sleep regression, though I've never been through it before so I'm not sure. He's been waking up pretty much hourly, crying like he's in pain, freaking out, whining, the whole range. The ONLY thing that will stop the screaming is nursing... nursing nursing nursing for hours until I whisper, "ok honey you need to let mommy go so she can roll over for a few because she can't feel her hand anymore."

Here's what I'm thinking, and I hope I don't jinx myself: because my little boy has pretty much never been an all-night sleeper, has woken up every 1-3 hours like 99.9% of the time since he was born, we are still nursing and cosleeping, it seems like a sleep regression won't be as dramatic for us as it might be for someone whose child is a "better" sleeper. For them (those lucky devils), they will be used to sleeping all night, no/minimal wakeups, etc. and then BAM sleep regression and it all goes to shit. They will be super tired and cranky and wondering what the hell went wrong. We on the other hand will have business as usual, only a little more difficult than usual. After almost 2 years of broken sleep I'm pretty much used to it.

In related news, we have rearranged our apartment so that we now have "the sleeping room" (used to be my son's room but as mentioned before he never sleeps in it) and our former bedroom is now "the playroom" (also contains our clothes/dressers). In the sleeping room, besides our bed which is now on the floor (easier for son to get in and out of) and my son's dresser, there is the infamous crib which is now a toddler bed (what an easy conversion!) He goes over to it and yells "bed!" then gets in it and jumps up and down on the mattress. Then it's off to other things. My theory is that having it there with us each night, it will just sit there all tantalizingly blanketed and soft with warm cuddly stuffed animals... calling to him slowly over time... and someday I'll wake up in the morning after a long full night of sleep and he'll be over there asleep in his own bed. I know, you think I'm a crazy dreamer. Well, dream it you f'in dreamers. It could happen! And it WILL happen when my little boy is ready. And I'm cool wit dat.

Times they are a'changin

It's been a long time since I've posted... that's what happens sometimes at this time of year. We get through the holidays then there's a lull in brain activity :)

I've been considering changing careers. Not that I really have a career at the moment per se, but I'd like to have one someday when I grow up. I'm turning 35 in two months, not quite ready for that. I finally feel like I can emotionally handle using my degree (B.A. in Psychology 1999). I was all set to go to graduate school, get my Psy.D. and work with teenagers, but it turned out I wasn't emotionally ready for it. I am like a feeling sponge, I absorb all the negative energy around me. But I think becoming a parent has made me more resilient (after everything I went through during my pregnancy and postpartum); I feel much stronger now than I have in my entire life. Also the Zoloft has helped me quite a bit.

Things that are pissing me off lately:

1. TAXES
It is complete bullshit that we are not eligible for the Earned Income Credit. I know there have to be cut-offs but Jesus H we are barely getting by, a couple thousand or even just one thousand would make a HUGE difference for us. Oh well, no use banging my head against the wall over something I can't control.

2. THIEVING DOWNSTAIRS NEIGHBORS
I haven't talked about it on here but our downstairs neighbors were breaking into our apartment and stealing shit for awhile (we don't even know how long). It's a long sad story that I won't go into detail about. But basically because we have to wait for a conviction, the bastard has been in and out of jail twice because of this, and is still living right downstairs from us. We have to see him out in the parking lot, etc. I understand due process and whatnot, but it SUCKS nonetheless to live right above people you know for a fact were breaking into your home.

3. NEVER ENOUGH MONEY, UNEMPLOYMENT, ETC.
My husband has a seasonal position so has been collecting partial unemployment this winter. He has also kept his part-time job at a store where he fills in when they have call-outs. He makes so little doing that- what is the point for him to even try to find a full-time position when you can make the same amount of money just collecting unemployment?! We have too many bills and we can't afford them all. And there's nothing I can do about it- can't get rid of any of the bills (unless we pay them off... HAHA very funny).

4. MY BEST FRIEND IS MOVING TO ALASKA FOR 3 YEARS
Her husband is in the Coast Guard and just found out he has to report for duty in Alaska in June. SUCKFEST.

5. MY HUSBAND WANTS TO DO CIO AND I DON'T
This one's a toughie. He's supportive of co-sleeping, etc. but sometimes gets sick of hearing me say I'm tired and says well it's your own fault you won't put him in the crib and let him CIO. I just can't do it.

6. THE PRESIDENT OF MY COMPANY NAMED HER SON WITH THE SAME FIRST NAME AS MY SON
This happened at the end of December. When my coworkers told me I thought it was a joke, but they weren't kidding. WTF?!

Oh gosh I was going to make this a positive post but it hasn't turned out that way at all! Sorry :( I'll do better next time, just having a crappy day/week/month.

I'm still a feminist

I became a feminist in college, officially. Before that I think I was always a crusader for the underdog, be it the environment, the war, or unfair discrimination (anyone remember when high schools were banning the "Co-Ed Naked" t-shirt series???). I remember discovering this whole wonderful world of feminist thinking, of acceptance and open-ness, of human rights and freedom. It was a fantastic and exciting honeymoon period. Then came the doubts, the judgment, the pressure to conform, even within a radical feminist framework. I've come to believe that regardless of what label you put on an -ism, it is inherently exclusive, simply by nature. Human nature. I felt like in order to consider myself a radical feminist, I had to date only radical feminists, which was difficult since I'm hetero and there was only 1 male member in the Women's Center and I just wasn't attracted to him. I felt like I had to wear certain clothes, have a certain job, buy certain things. In times like this, though I agree that we should protest things like unfair wages, environmental destruction, etc., it requires MONEY to be able to stop buying things at a place like Walmart. I buy things at Walmart. We aren't below the poverty line but we are hovering just above it. We have 2 car payments; I have outrageous student loans from my illustrious college days; rent, electric, phone, internet, car insurance, gas, FOOD, diapers, the list goes on and on.

I'm still a feminist

I am in a somewhat traditional marriage, where I do a lot of the housework and because I'm nursing, I tend to be the go-to-gal for our son. I work outside the home in an office.

I'm still a feminist

I associate with people who have traditional and right-wing opinions. Some of my relatives are pro-life and anti-gay rights. Some of the people I know have no idea how left-leaning I really am.

I'm still a feminist

I have become more middle of the road regarding many things, in that we can never know why someone does what they do because we can never walk in their shoes. It is very destructive to pass judgment regarding situations and events that we have never experienced or been involved in. I am a firm believer in equality for all, as much as possible. I believe in the rights of all to marry. I believe in equal health rights for all, regardless of sexual orientation, wealth, etc.

I'm still a feminist

I don't go to protests. I don't donate to organizations. I don't watch the news. In all honesty, I try to avoid controversial subjects, things that make me sad, etc. because I feel it all so intensely and also feel helpless.

I'm still a feminist

I am tired of people being divisive, judging each other, and giving unsolicited advice. Since I've become a parent, I've heard all range of advice about how to raise our child. We co-sleep and have since my son was 2 weeks old. My husband sleeps on the couch. It sucks but it's the only way we get sleep. I'm still nursing my son and he's just over a year old. Most of the people I know have raised their children in a traditional way, sleep training, weaning at 6 months if they breast-fed at all, and so on. I'm not passing judgment about it, just wish that I knew more people who did/are doing what we're doing.

I'm still a feminist

Just want to make that clear.

Don't want to jinx it but...

We are finally starting to get our little monkey onto a schedule!!! Here it is...

Wake up between 6:15 am and 7:15 am
Take 45 min-1 hour morning nap around 9 am or 10 am
Take 1.5-3 hour afternoon nap around 1 pm
Start bath, book, bedtime routine between 6:30 pm and 7 pm
Asleep (in crib!) between 7:30 pm and 8:30 pm

For the past 3 nights he's woken up like clockwork at 10:30 pm regardless of when he fell asleep. I think this is because that's when Daddy gets home and makes noise in the kitchen. I have asked Daddy to be quiet but he's generally pretty tired and will forget and bang a fork onto a plate or slam the microwave door closed and then oh-no-he's-up-again. Then at that point I go in and get the monkey and bring him to bed with me. I can't fall asleep anyway while he's in his crib, I just can't. I will be able to someday but not yet. Nursing him to sleep helps me fall asleep. I'm not ready to give that up, but want to sleep longer stretches. Oh well, we'll see what happens.

In the meantime I am excited and proud of this new routine. I make myself do it. I make myself get him to sleep in the crib for the first stretch of the night, regardless of how long it takes. It took almost 2 hours on Sunday night which sucked. But last night, quick as a wink, asleep by 7:30. But downside to that is up at 6:15 am. UGH. I will not complain though!!! I'm grateful that he slept 3 hours in the crib last night! I watched the Master Chef finale and talked with my BFF for a while. It was awesome.